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TRAINING IN MEDIATION: A TECHNICAL OR "ONLY THE QUESTIONS?"


Lia Mastropaolo

Psychologist, Director of the School of Genovese Family Mediation Training, co-director based in Genoa del Centro Milanese di TF, Coordinatore e docente al Master di Mediazione Università di Barcellona e di Palma di Majorca. mmfoscge@tin.it


Introduzione I diversi contesti in cui ho lavorato, in Italia e in Spagna, mi danno l’occasionedi evidenziare differenze ed uguaglianze nelle formazioni che ho condotto nelpubblico e nel privato, nell’universita’ al Master o piuttosto nellalaurea Specialistica, nei due diversi paesi, Spagna e Italia. Agli inizi degli anni 80 ho iniziato a lavorare con le coppie in crisi pressoil Servizio Pubblico di Genova istituendo prima un Centro di Terapia Familiare,successivamente the Center of Mediation "recognized by ASL.A based on that experience in '93, I founded the School dimed Genovese Family in Genoa, where, in these years, I had students servizipubblici and private. At the same time I started training in Spagnaad Oviedo in Asturias, in Barcelona for the Master of Family Mediation AutonomaH University. S. Pau, Universidad Complutense diMadrid more sporadically, in Italy in Biella, in Padua, for the ASL of Livorno with the public aperturadi four centers in the territory and to Leghorn 'DiGenova University as a professor of Family Mediation in Science connessaall' University of Law. The common denominator of the training courses given to us is represented by the students all work in public or private services, but the figures are different accept vocational courses (eg the beginning accepted in Spagnaerano also lawyers, which is only now possible in the Italiaper SIMeF). Even the patrons of the courses are very different: thus adesempio the principal university in Spain has given me lessons specializzazionenel master's degree, the University in Genoa me incaricatoper the teaching of mediation in this course (this is already not unadifferenza recently). This client is different from committenzadell 'public body, o della Scuola privata o associazione di professionisti.A seconda del diverso tipo di committenza si vengono infatti a creare differentie variegati contesti formativi e possibilità di realizzazione degli interventisuccessivi. Ad esempio fare formazione per una ASL, come quella Livornese, hasignificato continuare il lavoro con la supervisione diretta dei casi e con laorganizzazione dei Centri specialistici di Mediazione. Contemporaneamente alla costituzione dei Centri è stata svolta un’attività dipresentazione del Servizio prendendo contatti e organizzando incontri, con gliavvocati, con gli operatori degli altri Servizi e con le Associazioni del Territorioe con i giudici dei Tribunali. Si è discusso con le differenti agenzieindividuando a common methodology for a possible collaboration. The Mediation Centridi have assumed a different appearance depending on their location (rather than the island of Elba in the city of Livorno), depending on the cultural context, the type of group of operators. Esempioil to be born in an self as a center polifunzionaledel Piombino port or alongside other services such as Livorno, led ecollaborazioni diversified utilities. These differences were confirmed dall'analisidei case information followed. The client University, by contrast, does not deal with nuoviservizi install but it gives a more specialized theoretical and practical training in the Master (the families are seen directly to the Centre or through the tapes degliallievi) or mainly intended to build a theoretical comenel degree.

schema reference teoricodi
According to the model of the Genoese school differ with couples in crisis three possible actions: Mediation, Intervention for Change, Therapy.

Mediation
(There is a short nod. The specific methodology will be discussed in the section: Key points of the model Genovese).
Family mediation is one of the possible interventions that can be done with couples in crisis. My experience in the field of systemic allowed me to broaden the context and to consider the issue as a whole: "couples in crisis in the event of separation and divorce." The methodology is a consequence and depends on demand and the path that the couple has decided to take in choosing the way of arguing. In fact, for those couples who choose to litigate in court and the court shall delegate the resolution of their conflict, knowledge of the instrument or the proposal of mediation is inappropriate in relation to their ability to present a different path.
mediation, as is well known, is an intervention for the reorganization of family relationships that comes from a voluntary request of the couple who decided to part ways. It is bound by professional secrecy and is outside the judicial circuit.
Genovese are the peculiarities of the model to work with the conflict by creating a 3rd story "that exits the logic of the perpetrator and the victim, to find actual agreements for the management of parenthood, to give voice to the children to remove them from the position of 3rd in the pair and to offer an integrated model of collaboration with lawyers.

The 'action for change "
In situations where you can meet with a mediation because there is a voluntary request, I think still valid and present the methodology developed precisely negli anni ’80 a seguito di una ricerca impostata nel servizio pubblico con il mio gruppo di lavoro. Si tratta di un intervento specifico che ho chiamato “Intervento per il cambiamento” (Mastropaolo e altri "L'interazione Consultorio Tribunale. Strategie sistemiche operative" in Terapia Familiare n° 17 dell’85 Mastropaolo L. "Ridefinire la coazione: terapeuta sistemico e tribunale" in Ecologia della Mente n° 34 dell'89). Nel momento in cui il giudice mi chiede una consulenza o una perizia tecnica opero per trasformare un invio obbligato in un percorso che consenta ai genitori di riappropriarsi della genitorialità nonostante il vincolo dell’”invio coatto” e la delega data da loro inizialmente al giudice.
taking into due consideration the context in which the intervention takes place, (forced submission, the lack of secrecy, high conflict and the symmetry of the report), along with the pair actually rephrase the request of the court trying to obtain their cooperation on work resumption of parenting.
This route provides an "initial employment" which, while difficult and complex, awareness of the obligation arises from the institutional (verbalized with emphasis on 1 meeting) to then evolve into a "pact" between practitioners and families, aimed at a joint leading to overcome the conflict of couples, to have concern for the welfare of children, to ensure that parents are the first person to decide on them.
Within this conception is finally overcome diagnostic purposes to make way for a renewal and redefinition of family relationships.
The implementation of the methodology "Intervention for change" was made possible by the cooperation of some judges who actually stayed the pressing legal process and look forward, giving me and the family time to work, without entering about our work or how it emerged from the talks. The report presented in court or expertise is the formulation of the hypothesis sistemica sulle relazioni familiari, ricostruisce il percorso di trasformazione che i genitori hanno realizzato negli incontri e si conclude con l’accordo definito e scritto da loro. Tale accordo viene presentato in sede giudiziaria dove trova un suo formale riconoscimento.
Così si è trasformata una consulenza al giudice in un "intervento per il cambiamento" della famiglia passando dall’ottica della perizia e della diagnosi all’ottica della trasformazione e della riorganizzazione delle relazioni familiari. (Mastropaolo L. (1998)“La mediazione familiare: l’esperienza della Scuola genovese” in “Comporre il conflitto” a cura di C Marzotto. e R. Telleschi ed.Unicopli).
In tale prospettiva parents become "actors" in the repossession of their abilities. This means that the couple somehow get to stop using the Court's function and questions the delegation of Judgement, given to him previously.
If the path does not materialize and the "truce" does not produce results or agreements, the technician says it is unable and refers the matter to the court by providing evidence of a systemic evaluation formulated.
In my way of thinking is important that students learn not only mediation but also to turn an advice to the court in an "action for change" of the family. This change of perspective parents located in a position of "actors" allowing them to regain their ability to make decisions with respect to children, to find agreements.
is important that students know how to make a distinction between the contexts in which there is a separation and will respond coninterventi varied depending on the situations that arise.

"therapy"
Unlike mediation where you work with a specific purpose, the redefinition of relations between former spouses in view of the resumption of parenting, therapy, however, consists of a field of thought than free and family therapist, out preconceptions of any sort, where the only purpose is "the well of the family." The solution found by the family is the original and free, is not within schemas. Also in therapy working on the push of a disease so that the family find another way of life, by challenging and changing the mode of relational and individual members. The difference between therapy and mediation, then, lies in the fact that mediation from a first principle "is necessary to make a cultural change, the story requires it", but the therapy is not asking what is the cultural change that people to do, let alone the question arises of which is the solution should find the people.
In the work of mediation, as opposed to therapy, there is an "injury" is a fund that: "children need both parents to maintain" and that "the conflict of the former spouses must be overcome so that they can decide together on the child." The report is structured is very different from therapy. The mediation there is the aim to overcome the conflict that divides the torque to the two, though separated, they become "united as parents." In the system mode is also working on the premises of the couple so that there is coincidence between the well individual, couples and parents of former and accept the failure of previous assumptions. It is a way to protect i figli, per trovare una soluzione etica che garantisca i diritti di tutti.
In sintesi in mediazione si lavora su una trasformazione, su una riorganizzazione della vita familiare che rientra però in un cambiamento del ciclo vitale della famiglia.

Feed Back degli Allievi
Per illustare la metodologia seguita nella formazione riporto alcuni commenti, frutto di discussioni fra allievi, che si danno spiegazioni sulla metodología di insegnamento e fanno commenti sullo stile che la Scuola ha nel fare mediazione familiare.

Sulla metodologia del corso:
ALLIEVA 1: (lamentandosi)“mi aspettavo un corso dove tu ci davi la tua “scienza” invece tu fai domande”.
ALLIEVO 2: ”Lei ci da’ stimoli, ci fa domande, da’ ”las pautas”, (la guida, la falsariga, le orme) per riflettere. Fa con noi quello che fa con le famiglie”; fa in modo che siamo noi a trarre le conclusioni, a scoprire l’epistemologia del modello e ad individuare il percorso di mediazione che Lei ha seguito; aspetta che siamo noi a connettere gli elementi e a costruire l’intervento sugli stimoli che ci dà”.
ALLIEVA 1: “ all’inizio ho provato una gran confusione, mi sembrava che quello che sapevo non mi servisse più, adesso, a poco a poco, mi accorgo che comincio a pensare con la mia testa”.

At work with the conflict:
style with the couple: "Do you do them part, and make them see their participation, is a little steering style, the first note and then deduce the type of relationship and explicit ways to communicate with the couple, you do not show a solution, but you put them in a position that if the find themselves.
You are direct, sometimes provocative, but then you get the complicity of the two, each of them seek an alliance with you, you build with the complicity of both the soil to change the common goal: how to deal with their children. "
is difficult to do what it is "el manejo conflict" without going into dating game (as opposed to therapy). With the construction of the 3rd story in two voices, use what you need in the history of the couple and family just to make sure that the two find themselves parental esteem and respect. " You can leave
anger, the anger is channeled, whether anger, but not enter the game as a couple. Giving the couple the power to decide to allow children to focus on the objective. If the anger does not come out you can not find balance. (Watching him leave the logic is clear that right-wrong, good-bad and it is as if I said "there are children here who need a father and a mother", the decision is yours to take or think only of your "Bickering couple".)

The presence of children at the 1st meeting:
STUDENT 1: "I do not think it is easy to work with children especially if they are children, there is no risk of manipulation? ".
STUDENT 2: "I think from what we've seen with this family is that children already 'knew everything, did not need to open the door if they hear screaming in the other part of the house, only they are talking to their parents what and do not already know is that if the father and mother arguing in the kitchen, they do not feel in their room. It seems to me that finally played out cards and dai sotterfugi: a vedere tutti assieme si sdrammatizza la situazione, si normalizza, e, con l’intervento finale, li liberi e li tiri fuori dal gioco di coppia. I genitori cambiano, si rendono conto da questo momento del 1° incontro che i figli sanno e che esistono”.

La metodologia usata nella mediazione
La metodologia usata si rifà al modello sistemico- relazionale, postmoderno.
Il Postmodernismo non è un modo di pensare che nasce ex novo; è piuttosto una tappa del pensiero umano che riflette sui processi soggettivi mettendo in dubbio il concetto di verità e di realta’ obiettiva. La prospettiva soggettivista introdotta dal postmodernismo nel modello sistemico lo ha arricchito con importanti elementi teorici e pratici, come la critica della posizione obiettiva del terapeuta, le domande circolari e riflessive.....avvicinandosi a temi rimasti in sospeso come il ruolo dell’individuo nei sistemi relazionali, il posto che occupano le emozioni, o la costruzione (Linares, Family Process).
Questa posizione è già stata assunta nel corso della storia da Socrate e da altri filosofi.
Un’espressione di questo modo di pensare è la maieutica: “l’arte di far dire all’altro, attraverso domande, il suo pensiero seguendo un processo logico e aiutandolo ad arricchirlo proprio attraverso domande”. Credo che questa sia una particolarità della Scuola Genovese Mediation, the use of a way to increase knowledge, not giving any answers or solutions, just as the student complained in his commentary on the course, but to support a form of independent thinking that comes from the introduction of complexity, from a widening context and an ability to search within itself the most useful responses. The attempt was not to teach to have a solution for every problem, but to think in front of each issue.
This move from a linear perspective to problems of circular causal complex, it is in this moment of epistemological change that students meet an expected difficulty and feel confused, because the questioning previous assumptions inevitably provokes crisis. Often, at this stage of training, say they are confused and want answers and solutions and plans of action.
The training, in the light of the goals, urging them to ask questions and seek answers independently and, when found, to discuss them in groups.
For this methodology we use is given broad significance all'ipotizzazione, encouraging students to construct hypotheses as provisional tools, used to not "marry" and give up the unconscious prejudices.
Students observe meetings of mediation behind the mirror offering their hypotheses and possible interventions and verify Field utility when the teacher brings them in his work with the couple. This allows students to observe and be observed.
why the introduction of hypothesising, circularity and triadic reflexive questions, etc.. constitutes an important part of education, through this method, "we learn to think" not using a static model but want to create a learning environment where the couple work as the way to the training process can be deduced in terms of complexity.
observer and observed, experienced and complementary levels of the educational process are essential to who should then operate in the field of human relations. So
nella formazione usiamo la maieutica per permettere all’allievo di liberarsi dai suoi schemi mentali e pregiudizi per poter costruire apprendimenti e conoscenze riconoscendo la complessità dei sistemi umani con le sue peculiarità e lo aiutiamo a trovare sue risposte originali, esattamente come nel percorso della mediazione, il mediatore introduce un processo di cambiamento che permetta al sistema “coppia coniugale con figli” di evolvere verso il sistema “coppia genitoriale”.
Non insegnamo tecniche o schemi per definire tappe di percorsi standards o interventi pedagogici, orientati al fare, ma cerchiamo di dare agli allievi una cultura del mediatore che sviluppi descrizioni, spiegazioni, teoria del far mediazione.
As teachers in a learning process it seems advisable to act on the cultural substratum causing a change in thinking, so that students know how to build together with the families (biological, in fact, sent by the court, reconstituted, immigrants, foster care, etc..) ( Fruggeri) a context where we can apply the tool of mediation. The training that was implemented in time from my work experience as one of the teachers who collaborate with me, will prefer the combination of "observer and observed" in order to stimulate in the students training in an acquisition of knowledge is deeply rooted experience of "self in relationship." This path
is expressed in the following principles, which identify the training model of the Genoese school:
· the positive and contextualized vision of the conflict or guilt
The ability to maintain attention on the processes of the report regarding the contents
The ability to maintain active in the students the possibility of self-observation through a proper management of the conversation
The ability to maintain an active self-observation to be able to adjust itself to the process being relational
Particular emphasis is also to take the work on teacher report - group using the group as an experiential space in order to stimulate a reflection on what has been observed with special attention to the comparison of individual differences. Are thus put in place processes and reflexive self instructional learning. (Lia Mastropaolo, Andrea Mosconi "Training in Mediation as experiential space 'report presented at the conference SIMEF 01).

Educational tools
Training is based on a methodology that uses active:
· Tapes editing prepared specifically for the student in a short time to see the highlights and most salient passages of the route of mediation it is a summary of the 8 / 10 meetings of working with the couple.
· Tapes thematic to allow, through a comparison of excerpts from tapes of some families on a specific theme. It may be, for example, a tape in which there are different manifestations of the conflict in different pairs in history, the context of belonging and cultural roots, or agreements in order to analyze different types of agreements in different pairs, or the 1st meeting with children. The use of tapes as well facilitates the acquisition of culture of the Ombudsman is also the direct involvement of students.
· Simulate allowing the pupil to experience in conversion techniques typical of sensitization to mediate implicit aspects of the different ways of overcoming the conflict (work on the history, management neutrality involved, the use of hypotheses, work on the future, etc..) and experience first hand the path of mediation.
· Films: the screening of films, whole or editing, suitably chosen to stimulate curiosity and participant observation helps students to emerge and gain awareness of their emotions and prejudices and the social context.

Key points of the model Genoese

- a Methodology for carrying out interventions
The conduct of the meeting states that the mediatore faccia chiarezza sulla finalità della mediazione, gestisca l’andamento della conversazione dando alternativamente la parola e garantendo l’ascolto reciproco. Mantenendo una neutralità partecipe fà emergere idee, emozioni e storie e aiuta la coppia a riconoscerle come proprie affinchè assumano una forma diversa.
Riporto i commenti di alcuni allievi sullo stile di far mediazione
“Fai delle domande aperte ma stabilisci pause di riflessione: usi un modo di dare forma all’inizio e alla fine degli interventi che definisce il ritmo dell’incontro; proponi un ritmo di esposizione e di discussione in cui la pausa è sottolineatura di certe affermazioni.”
“Li solleciti molto attraverso demanding applications there is an expectation of you, "do not soft, does not accept evasive answers, but it's like you always cover them with, a process of defining their relationship, asking them to be precise and rigorous."
In telling the story of the couple and family wakes the memory of a time when "things were going well" because they realize that there was an initial pattern that brought them together. Do not put in doubt the previous history favors the process of recognition and circumscribes, the crisis in context and brings out a new narrative about the reason for their marriage crisis that does not sink in the negative, but through the recovery of positive memories ripristina il rispetto reciproco.
Un’altra caratteristica fondante è il rigore nell’attenzione al processo accanto alla massima libertà nell’esprimere i contenuti.
“Trai conclusioni attraverso la riformulazione “se lei dice questo...allora forse.” non c’e proposta di contenuto è come se dicessi: “vada avanti e veda cosa le viene fuori seguendo il suo tipo di pensiero”(messaggio implicito). Li aiuti a scavare nelle idee che si sono creati, inducendoli a fare connessioni. “ A volte notiamo che restano come sorpresi di quanto dicono, ma c’è comunque da parte loro la sensazione di essere molto liberi di esprimersi.”
“Lasci libertà nei content but establishes a bond in the process are the stages, phases, which respects the mediation. As if dropped the arguments that are not yet ripe for not elaborate, it's like you choose the subjects did not highlight them through. "
" As if bring attention more on "what was not said" as in the negative a photograph, like a bas-relief showing also the things that are in the relief thus less visible than that for granted, irrelevant, it brought to light, can enhance the course of this work there now. " Your
run using pauses and gaps, silences, and outputs to highlight important elements to mark the time of the session so that it has a structure and not go to a freewheel.
Faced with strong statements: "My wife's lover to 4 years" "My daughter no longer wants me to see" is allowed to settle as if these "bombs" in the space in the middle of the group, as if all were a bit first 'watch this thing to give its place ... as if you gave you little echo at the moment, to reinstate at a later time more propitious in which this fact is its place "but at that time what happened?".
The use of circular questioning, neutrality, being curious, attention to evolutionary process of the families are working tools in mediation.

-2 against the conflict or the conflict?
"el manejo conflict" without going into the quarrels of the couple.
There comes a time, for example, you decide to deal with the conflict (usually at the 2nd or 3rd meeting with the couple) in a precise time that you make you, after leaving them time to settle. For this you can just touch it, to use only those aspects of the conflict that may be useful in mediation work, with both the possibility of early exit from the theme. We realize that is different from therapy. So much
talks about joint custody and processing of agreements of the parents, but as we build this space parenting?
Some schools by focusing on the agreements to come out and avoid the conflict.
From our point of view, the overcoming of the conflict is at the heart of the intervention of mediation because their parents are able to build actual agreements on children only after finding substantial agreement: "We agree that we agree."
This simple way of saying, in reality it is a process that involves a change of epistemological premises and the manner of interpreting reality by the couple.
When you separate each one in autoconferma own mind a story that justifies and reinforces its position, a story where the other is hopelessly guilty and confirms himself in their emotions and their own reasons, "The evil is another."
The interruption of the idea of \u200b\u200bhaving a joint causing pain.
Parents usually come in mediation overshadowed by anger and resentment claims define a high level of conflict that focuses on the end of the story of the couple. Do not listen. The individual narrative invade and cancel the parental area.
If the premise was "united we will stay all my life," when the couple's relationship is impoverished, the expectations are disillusioned, the couple is in crisis and the conflict occurs on the responsibility of the game "you are the culprit for the failure of our history." You lose the thread of the mess, and there is the question "How did we get all this and why we are in crisis."
The conflict comes from the discrepancy between the original idea of \u200b\u200bthe couple: "we never shall we part", the inability to function as a couple now, and the idea, (but not very culturally accepted emotionally) "can separate us." There is no correspondence between the original idea of \u200b\u200bthe couple and the realities of coexistence. This produces a feeling of fallimento.In many situations, What's more, the story of couple identified with the history of the family. Imagination of the couple, the reports are mistaken identity: it lost the difference between the idea of \u200b\u200bhimself (self), the individual, the individual couple, and parent. In the crisis of separation, it is as if there were a confusion which is not allowed to distinguish themselves in the end the couple's relationship, and will maintain itself as an individual, as a parent.
is difficult to separate the history of marital and parental history until the game is you can not blame the other parent to appear as a positive figure, and when you make war, each trying i suoi alleati fino a formare due eserciti fatto di amici, parenti e, poi avvocati e giudici.
Per questo, per me è importante “manejar el conflicto”, questo significa toccare, entrare nella storia di coppia quel tanto che basta per uscire dal ginepraio del binomio ragione-torto, buono- cattivo, vittima-colpevole.
“Manejar” non è “trabajar” lavorare in maniera approfondita sulla loro storia ma è trattarlo in modo circoscritto e finalizzato a ripercorrerla quel tanto che è sufficiente a trovare un comune significato affinché riescano a costruire assieme un’altra storia in cui al posto della colpa ci possa essere il riconoscimento dei motivi e delle esigenze che hanno portato alla separazione.
My job is to help build this the 3rd story where the needs, feelings, thoughts are an integration of the two into one story, told in two voices, where the two personal stories are integrated, while you clarity of how you have moved away and stopped the couple's relationship. Only then you create a mental space for their children because they can see each other as someone to respect and rely on reliable as a parent.
As Maturana says "the solutions to the conflict are not rational but emotional" Seminar Ethics Epistemology Barna y 1996.
The recognition of differences, the recovery of the estimate as a parent opens up possibilities cooperation as a perspective for the children and to look ahead.
Time is the future but must be made visible, to build a future individual, with the possibility of a new couple with children, but also new start saving the family bonds of affection.
Only at this point in the process of reorganization of family relationships is set up as a new and evolving system retrieves the evolutionary history of separate family changing forms of family interactions, without dissolving, and defines it differently.

Through the chart below, I will give, as limited by a scheme, a representation of the need to act in mediation a change of premises. As can be seen from the chart we have drawn two axes. The vertical axis indicates the connection between the premises of the couple and the resulting behavior. In the horizontal axis is the line drawn from the past-present-future.
As is apparent from the top pane to the left of the conflict lies in passato.e is perpetuated to the unmet expectations of the couple relationship, the premise of guilt and responsibility for fueling the conflict, and the consequence is that "there is no place for children. " As is evident from the central axis that marks the transition from conflict to the agreement if the game is changing responsibilities of the premises. In the box upper right conditions are given different "stories can change," the story of us as a couple is over, "" the children are fine if the parents are good "that determine" We agree "and as a result reopens availability of a mental space 'for children. We move the line of the present and the future, and you can into a redefinition of self as an individual and as a parent.

- Participation of 3 children: when and why?
The objective is that the couple is able to communicate with the children to reach a real agreement.
Invitation to the first meeting not only both parents but also children are often involved in quarrels of torque, to free them from the "who is in the midst of the conflict and who is triangulated. Subsequent meetings only work with the couple.
Invite children, defining who will speak in their presence only to what will emerge by themselves, allows children to verbalize before their parents and with a broker (who may possibly mitigate) the tensions that are living with family or in an unclear , or in a direct and open conflict. It also allows parents to listen and understand what they know of the affair separative, to respond to the clarifications they ask for. Interesting are comments that children, even children, on the situation they are experiencing. Often parents who had informed me by telephone: "Our children do not know anything, do not argue in front of them" are appalled about the degree of knowledge of their separation.
then ask parents to tell their story of couple and family in the presence of children. It is so that children can distinguish between a "before and after." "The relationship between parents, broken at the moment, have not always been so confrontational." Using a historical analysis of the family brings a sense of continuity and evolution, it retrieves the possibility of a future agreement on a common past and a glimpse of his son is the "wire conductor "of family relations.
In summary childcare on 1 meeting in a climate colloquial:
• To assess the resonance that it has on children, the parents' separation
• To a resonance effect that has on their parents as children and recorded in the meeting said the mediation
• To know the family context in which the separation process produces
• To 's idea of \u200b\u200bevolution of the family, to introduce a historical analysis of the family and takes into account the continuity in an evolutionary
• To give information to children. In fact, in the final conclusions of the intervention call their parents as people who, for the welfare of their children, a respectable and responsible choice: that of mediation instead of litigation in court. Free them from continuing to take the conflict of the "big" now that the parents have decided to use the space for mediation to discuss and agree on them.
For these reasons, I dedicate to working with children in the intervention that has a special place in training.

-4 Mediation-integrated global
The choice is to make a comprehensive mediation, ensuring maximum family with a two-part intervention to ensure professionalism in the best 'field of the affects of rights: means having a mediator that more specifically deals with the emotional and relational aspects together with a mediator with a legal background that deals with the rights and property aspects.
Mediation global - integrated does not necessarily share the same operating space, but not exclude it.
The choice of venue made by customers determine the form of collaboration is different if the 1st meeting takes place in a common area or in a lawyer's office or in a Mediation Centre. One example is the experience carried out by three years in Space Family-Recco of Genoa, where as a mediator along with an attorney experienced in handling mediation on 1 meeting with the couple to explain the purpose of mediation, alternatives, to evaluate and decide the priority intervention in response to requests. Then divide tasks and responsibilities while maintaining a continuous collaboration in which joint actions are possible to meet in finals to smooth the work or to settle the agreement. In this case there is a process where the harmonic professionalism alternate and complement, accompanying the couple without invading the spheres of emotions and rights and not replace the couple helped to maintain a leading role in the choices.
There are couples in crisis who turn in the first instance to 'lawyer who makes an assessment on the basis of the issues explicit and defines the various options with the client; can intervene with the legal means at his disposal, or, knowing the tool of mediation is found useful to a strengthening of parenting, may propose to send to a mediator.
Some couples in crisis are addressed directly to the Ombudsman and they will then, or during or at the end of his speech, send a lawyer to ensure the seat of the rights and to give legal significance to what they have decided within the mediation based on an affective-relational logic.
is important to define the path to the stage where the couple decides to request the intervention of a mediator. When the couple is separating and comes at a time when copper II conflict non ha innescato un meccanismo di logica processuale è più facile definire le priorità negli obiettivi da ragggiungere e iniziare con un intervento di mediazione: gli aspetti patrimoniali possono venire affrontati in un secondo tempo.

- 5 I diversi contesti della mediazione
Il lavoro nei servizi pubblici o la formazione di operatori che hanno a che fare con realta’ complesse mi ha portato a ritenere che in alcuni casi prima di proporre un intervento di mediazione è necessario costruire contesti che lo rendano possibile.
L’ottica sistemica implica l’attenzione al contesto con il lavoro di rete, la conoscenza del sistema legale, (avvocati e Tribunale) e dei sistemi allargati familiari e istituzionali.
Tutti noi siamo chiamati a intervenire in contesti sociali sempre più complessi. Molte volte mi sono trovata a lavorare in contesti diversi in cui ho dovuto costruire uno spazio finalizzato a sviluppare un percorso di mediazione che ha rappresentato l’ultimo anello di un processo più complesso. Ne è esempio il lavoro con immigrati nell’ambito dell’ interculturalita’, di mediazioni di vicinato, tra famiglie affidatarie e biologiche e in casi di mediazione penale.

Verifica di un cambiamento nel modo di pensare degli allievi
In formazione vengono facilmente fuori i pregiudizi sull’ idea di famiglia e di separazione che hanno gli allievi. These biases affect the relationship broker-parent couple and condition. It is often necessary to work on "prejudices," and on the premises of the working group so that they can help with a neutral attitude and respect the choices of the couple.
The courses, in Italy as in Spain, I ask students to complete a questionnaire on the idea of \u200b\u200bfamily, separation, divorce in the early and the final course. During training the student change the initial ideas: in general, before being identified as the separation end of a relationship come to accept, at the end of the course, as a transformation of family relationships. There is not an end but a different way of conceptualizing family.
The questionnaire at the beginning and end of the course allows you to see if there was a change in thinking about students' learning and therefore not a technical but a new way of thinking and analyzing the facts.

Conclusions
Do training is not teaching techniques, but involve a change of premises in each student in his way of thinking, being, to read situations. This premise defines a broker as someone who has a cultural substratum, an epistemology of reference that allows him to work with the family to reveal the process of change in themselves and in the speeches they make. It is therefore in a food primarily a way of thinking, being, leaving the techniques come out as a consequence.
The basic requirement is to have respect for the responsibility of others over their own lives, is to work with the personal resources, skills and uniqueness. You keep this culture, different contexts, origins, development and social ways. You get the people involved will increase the number of choice alternatives (see Foerster), taking their skills, experience in parenting, in-relazionemediatore family, as in teacher-student relationship.

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