Giovanna Lonardi Allieve Didatte A.I.M.S., Istituto Veneto di Terapia Familiare, sede di Verona, IVTF-Verona@libero.itzia-tina@tiscali.it
"Compito dei genitori è donare due cose ai figli: le radici e le ali"
(Proverbio del Québec)
La costruzione di un Centro di Spazio Neutro al servizio dei minori separati da uno o da entrambi i genitori nasce per la tutela del "diritto a mantenere relazioni personali e contatti diretti con entrambi i genitori, salvo quando ciò è contrario al maggior interesse del bambino"
(ONU- ‘Convenzione dei diritti dell’infanzia’ art.9,1989, New York)
Introduzione
Scopo dell'articolo è dimostrare come in un Centro di Spazio Neutro le modalità usate nella mediazione siano indispensabili per permettere al figlio l’accesso al genitore, e al genitore la possibilità di avvicinarsi e riconoscere i bisogni del figlio.
Si vuole dimostrare come le tecniche di mediazione utilizzate secondo il modello sistemico facilitino la ‘protezione’ della storia e dei vissuti del singolo.
Per attivare uno spazio dove possa essere favorito e mantenuto il legame genitoriale si è delineato uno sfondo teorico can offer support in defining the possible ways of intervention.
This background serves to allow the identification and implementation of intervention models varied depending on:
· the application;
· dell'inviante;
· the problematic situation;
· of this level of conflict in the family ;
· age of the children involved.
The services offered by the bid must take on different characteristics of an area with the presence of an 'observer guarantor' of the welfare of the child, to an intervention that responds to a specific request of the Judiciary (Marzotto, Dallanegra, 1998). It makes
therefore necessary background characteristics of flexibility and permeability that have been identified:
1. systemic model in family trigenerazionale (approach which emerged mainly through the studies and research Selvin Scabini, squeaks, Galimberti, Mombelli, Iafrate and others of the Catholic University of Milan) with regard to the identification and interpretation of the problems and nuclei intervention;
2. family mediation in the implementation of procedures and techniques for conflict resolution.
In the work presented here are defined in particular: o To
reference theoretical background: the concept of family and legamecon the identification of the elements of prosperity and development of the individual elements to be preserved even in situations of separation, indipendentementedal reason for the separation itself. The conflict and the vital function that assumenel context of the mediation, a neutral
· Space Verona
· action of the operators as subjects of mediation and lefunzioni pursued by them;
· the mediation techniques used.
theoretical background reference
The family bond
The interpretive paradigm and change the identity of the family and developed by Scabini Cigoli (2000) and called symbolic-relational paradigm defines the family in its structural components that identify it as an organization different from other organizations.
According to this paradigm, the family is defined as specific and unique organization that binds and holds together the original and fundamental human differences, those between genders (male and female), between generations (parents and children) and among lineages (maternal and paternal family tree) and that 'as a project objective and intrinsic generativity' (Scabini-Iafrate, 2003).
What distinguishes the family from other forms of organization and group is the relationship that develops between its components. The links that are established it (marriage, between parents and children, including relatives) will identify the identity and form 'the basis for the formation and spread the emotional part of individuals' (Scabini, Cigoli 2000). Family ties
characteristics, as claimed Scabini (in Scabini, Iafrate, 2003), which are useful for the formulation of our models of intervention in what they are:
· primary: the subjects are related to one another as individuals;
· hierarchically structured: the family is a group of parianche if by some boards can be established generational peer relationships;
° referred by both emotional aspects of care, both from the ethical vincoloe of responsibility.
for each individual is what binds the report, even unknowingly, the subject among themselves, is what has been settled and will sediment in terms of rituals, values, myths and patterns of relationships. It is therefore 'array of anthropological and psychological development of the individual' (Scabini-Cigoli, 2000).
The links that are built make it possible to learn how to respond to the moments of life as well as help the individual to overcome the sense of loneliness and abandonment by a feeling of belonging. N
importance of protecting the bond in a neutral space
The family bond is the basis on which 'form and develop the emotional part of every individual' (Scabini, squeaks, 2000).
The welfare of each individual seen in the present and projected into the future, depends largely on establishing links and relationships with their families and the ability to understand and process the situations and events of life, although sad and sometimes tragic .
Numerous studies performed in Italy (Cigoli, 1998) that examined the effects on children of separation that resulted in the removal of one parent, have highlighted how the instability of the family relationship in children arouse feelings of fear, anger and guilt leading them to express their discomfort through different behaviors: aggression, regression, easy tears, continued refuge in fantasies of 'reintegration' family or other.
E 'was also highlighted as the development of such feelings and the evolution of the living and the child's behavior resulting in' relief 'of the illness, and related factors in addition to age and time, also to' how parents can keep the relationship between them and their children '(Beal, 1980). In high-conflict situations, the pain in their children can have a material impact on their future development.
Situations di separazione causate da eventi quali la carcerazione di un genitore, la limitazione della potestà genitoriale per incuria, l'incapacità, l'abuso o altri gravi motivi che comportano l’allontanamento ‘forzato’ del figlio da uno o entrambi i genitori, rendono complessa ma necessaria l’elaborazione dei sentimenti di paura, rabbia e colpa per permettere il ‘riannodarsi del legame genitoriale’ (Cigoli, 1998).
Per i minori e i propri genitori mantenere il rapporto anche in situazioni gravissime significa mantenere il legame da un punto di vista ‘biologico-storico della relazione’, significa dare la possibilità di accesso alle proprie radici aumentando la possibilità di ‘elaborare i significati che avere quei genitori, quei nonni o quei figli comporta’ (Cigoli in Marzotto, Dallanegra, 1998).
La creazione di uno spazio neutro dove vengono attivate modalità di tutela del legame e delle sue funzioni, dove i genitori vengono aiutati ad esplicitare e a tener conto dei bisogni dei figli in funzione generativa implica la scelta di tecniche di intervento che oltre alla clinica e alla psicoterapia facciano riferimento alla mediazione.
Funzione della genitorialità
Mantenere in atto la funzione genitoriale permette di mantenere in atto il legame, permette al genitore di trasmettere le proprie scelte e attraverso they express and make their ability to care, and child to feel cared for and protected (Cigoli, 1998). The pact
parental guarantees the presence of child protection issues and empathy typical code of breast and emancipatory aspects of order and justice typical of the paternal code (Scabini, squeaks, 2000).
The ideal relationship in situations of separation and divorce would be that of the cooperative and consensual parenting by parents in relation to children. In addition to having guaranteed access to both races this attitude does not encourage a healthy emotional development by reducing the tensions caused by feelings of loyalty toward the father or mother that the children feel in situations of conflict.
Camara and Resnick (in Cigoli, 1998) show that positive cooperation in parenting has positive effects on children even if parents are in conflict on other issues.
Building a space where you can pick up the threads of parenting fits a suspended task facing both the individual and to society because it allows individuals to exercise the right of the 'gift' (Cigoli, 1998) in its value of gratuity and reciprocity, and the community to have 'regulated relations' and play a role in prevention of trying to maintain a healthy relationship between children and adults of reference.
Separazioni: ‘il diritto di visita’ nel divorzio e nelle separazioni coatte
Ogni forma di separazione si configura come transizione critica della famiglia e come tale porta con sé situazioni di sofferenza (Scabini, Iafrate, 2003).
Ci sono famiglie nelle quali la discordia derivata dall’interruzione del patto coniugale può permanere per lungo tempo anche dopo il divorzio e rendere difficile, a volte impossibile, per un figlio la frequentazione del genitore non affidatario.
In altre situazioni la lontananza abitativa di un genitore può rendere ‘senza posto’ l’incontro con il figlio o ridursi a luoghi come ristoranti o giardinetti where the possibility of exchange becomes difficult.
In other contexts there may have been more parental behavior harmful to the mistreatment of children for whom custody was required for expulsion to a third party.
Then there are adults who are incarcerated for crimes the most diverse and from which children are 'necessarily' separate.
In those situations where problems can be serious and where there is a chronic disease of their parents, increasing doubts about the possibility of recovery of parenting skills and therefore a real possibility to re-establish relations.
"The right of access is established by law the right of persons to keep alive the historical biological roots of which the mind can not nonalimentarsi. But the law, which refers to the rule and the rule of Community law is anchela secure base from which to move towards the dock salvaguardiadelle relations between generations and even of their recovery "(Cigoliin Marzotto, Dallanegra, 1998). The Neutral Space
provides pathways to support parents varied depending on the situation: it is essential to access the child to both parents even in the presence of a serious assessment of the damage or suffering caused by the report.
In simpler situations the support can range from a place to meet all’osservazione silenziosa degli operatori.
Nelle situazioni più difficili le prescrizioni del Tribunale e la valutazione clinica del danno e della sua ‘riparabilità’ costituiscono elementi chiave nel predisporre il processo di avvicinamento al genitore maltrattante.
Laddove il danno ricevuto dal figlio sia riconosciuto come un reato per il genitore e la relazione sia normata dal Tribunale, la funzione dello Spazio Neutro si esplica nella salvaguardia del figlio e nell’aiutarlo ad elaborare attraverso gli incontri protetti con il genitore il che cosa e il perché è avvenuto. Al genitore offre, nell’aiutarlo ad accedere alla propria ‘generatività’ (Scabini, Iafrate, 2003), la possibilità to break the chronicity of abuse and begin a process of repairing the damage (Vassalli, Training Course for Technical Consultant - 2001). However
not always the amount of damage suffered through physical abuse, emotional, sexual or psychological corresponds to a recognition of crime, in which case the function of Neutral Space will be to bring out the seriousness and potential danger of the report, giving the way to a path of 'recognition'.
The rationale that supports the right of the child to have access to parents, even in situations where generativity is expressed with great difficulty lies in the recognition by a di vista relazionale dell’importanza per il figlio di collocarsi all’interno della coppia per trovare le proprie radici e per poter pensare ad un avvenire possibile (Cigoli, 1998).
SPAZIO NEUTRO a Verona
La conoscenza del lavoro svolto all’interno di Spazi Neutri in Italia e all’estero, ha permesso di usufruire di parametri di confronto utili nella scelta delle metodologie di intervento.
Intervento di terzi: gli operatori
La funzione degli operatori all’interno dello Spazio Neutro di Verona è molteplice e diversificata: il gruppo ha caratteristica multidisciplinare (Psychotherapists, psychologists, educators, mediators, educators, social workers) and individual expertise are used in a cooperative context especially in the analysis of the application, the planning stage of the process of defining and identifying operational who will assume the responsibilities of the job.
expressing the third to be conflicting reports, operators say the presence of social and law clearly requiring that the child is not property of the person who creates it is a social good and as such must be protected.
The neutral space, is configured as a 'place of transition' and the plight of workers in situations less complex is to be 'between':
· the anxieties and concerns of foster parents who need someone to reassure them and takes care of their concerns;
· the desire to 'recover the child', and the desire to demonstrate their capabilities that often accompanies the request for riconoscimentoda the non-custodial parent;
· the tensions, fears, desires that their children have and necessitanodi be translated and shown to adults to stop the process of triangulation.
In more complex situations and where there is an intervention of the Court's request, or social workers, being 'between' operator problematizes it: their task is to facilitate, into a 'transitional symbolic-links', 'space-time gift' and 'space-time construction of dikes' (Cigoli, 1998 ).
The problem that comes their way is to be able to cope with the impending danger, damage in the exchange between generations, and the hardship they are facing and is often active against abusive parents. The use of normativity intrinsic to the intervention of the Court facilitates the implementation of intervention models that help build contenutivi boundaries in maltreating families are often lacking.
Pain that rages within a given operator is useful to provide information about emotions and the recognition of how these emotions affect the meetings. The indicators to be considered are: 'organizational and methodological impasse, inhibition of criticism, feelings of weakness and distress' (Vassalli, Training Course for Technical Consultant - 2001).
The risk of an alliance with the suffering in these situations is high: a continued oversight is necessary to promote awareness of what is going through and not to act in an unconscious way 'between' the 'emotional configurations of the victim' s aggressor, and the savior of the witness. These configurations are borrowed from psychopathology '(Vassalli, Training Course for Technical Consultant - 2001).
The position of the operators from the perspective of mediation
In determining the operator's position and its role has tried to take into account the complexity and variety of types of families and situations with which it operates.
After some changes in recent times has been referred to the division of family mediation models proposed by Mazzei (Mazzei, 2002) and is considered as the criterion for distinguishing the 'mode of dealing with the relationship dynamics and subjective experience with respect to the separation in the relationship of mediation' (Mazzei, 2002).
In some situations or moments in the same location as the operator's role is to be 'the guardian of the decision-making and care above all of the pragmatic aspects of the meetings' that the child has with the non-custodial parent (Haynes and Buzzi, 1996). In other
may be appropriate to take (structured model) positions blocking the negative impact of the emotional factor, and the operator puts heavy emphasis on task and on the solution of the problem 'severely limiting the scope of the negotiations' (Coogler in Mazzei, 2002).
For some interventions may be necessary to refer to an interdisciplinary model where the operator's work in Neutral Space is co-adjuvanted vaccine, with parents, the work of outsiders such as social workers, lawyers or educators who work with domestic children. In this regard, it highlights the central role of the operator of SN as a promoter of networking. Sometimes it had to do real work of mediation with the other actors involved, whether they are voluntary associations that somehow deal with the case, social workers or lawyers.
has proven its usefulness in some situations addressed in Verona Area neutral to work with parents as well as in joint or individual sessions, with the children creating a special area for them with the aim of helping them through games and stories to express the fears and tensions that are creating suffering.
mediation in the management of a neutral space
Because space is a neutral space for mediation?
Why is a space where thought can give meaning to a different act, so as to become "camera settling the conflict," because is a space of thoughts and actions to enhance functional recovery of parenting, because it is a place where it is held in this central feature of the future than in the past.
is a space for mediation because all the shares that are held in place a balance of management time and space:
a) accept the child with those who accompanied him (usually the mother)
b), insert the words with the parent "other";
c) to be alone with the child (fundamental transition area);
d) to be alone with the parents, "other";
s) match between child and parent;
f) detachment from the parent "more "
g) return to the parent.
is a place where disorder is containment dike which included the development and acceptance, and where the operator works to restore communication between different family members with the objective of facilitating access to children to their roots.
The objective of Neutral Space is unclear but its achievement is not pursued at all costs. It is not in fact make a defense to the bitter end of parental reports: there is a "well-being of children" which sometimes dramatically, requires cutting of the interaction with the biological parents (Marzotto, Dallanegra, 1998). This event is accompanied by a "penalty" on the part of Magistrates.
While the Judiciary is responsible for sanctioning the breakup of the covenant as a function of parental protection of the child, it acts as a neutral space to accept the suffering and violence that this decision brings and to help the child to 'understand 'the reason for the decision.
methodologies and techniques
in carrying out the methodologies to be used within the interventions Neutral Space reference was made to pedagogical methods, psychotherapy and family mediation.
Have been borrowed from psychology methods in the game, empathic listening, assertive language, the use of stories and fairy tales in a symbolic function, to achieve autonomy and self-esteem.
psychotherapy has been borrowed from the technique of interview relationships.
The interdisciplinary flavor offers the possibility of applying different solutions according to the types of family and extent of the problem.
The usefulness of family mediation is most evident in the early stages of acceptance of the family, the activation process of sharing the child's welfare, in giving meaning 'other' to the suffering of letting express and contain the conflict and provide moments of contact between individuals.
Selection criteria
The preferential option for its techniques and methods of systemic family mediation follows:
or having organized the Neutral Space in such a way as not to limit it to only one protected area of \u200b\u200bparent-child meeting but a place to expand access to races;
or believe that the difficulties relating to the exercise of rights of access arising in the conflict between parents. It is therefore essential objective to restore and develop communication between the parents themselves, helping them to overcome problems related to the couple from those inherent in their role as father and mother (Marzotto, Dallanegra, 1998);
or see that the operator's position is to "be among "and to take on a temporary basis of their parent and then return them once reactivated resources;
or the need for the operator to maintain an equal distance from their parents so that they understand they may have in common" object "with someone who have come to hate (Mandelli in Marzotto, Dallanegra, 1998);
or try to keep the look of the parents toward the future and not to passato.
Un ulteriore criterio adottato nel definire quali tecniche usare è quello di fare riferimento ai diversi modelli di mediazione e ai diversi ruoli che gli operatori è opportuno assumano in funzione dell’obiettivo.
Viene di seguito presentato un elenco di tecniche utilizzate:
· valutazione della situazione attraverso l’analisi della domanda;
· accoglimento e contenimento della sofferenza attraverso l’ascoltoempatico e la ridefinizione del problema;
· attenuazione del conflitto attraverso l’esplicitazione deisuoi significati, problem solving, brainstorming;
· evidenziazione dell’aspetto simbolico degli oggetti del contendere;
· centratura dell’interesse sul figlio;
· attivazione di abilità di cooperazione partendo dalla condivisionedei problemi;
· negoziazione;
· interazione di gioco;
· disegno congiunto;
· empowerment;
· collages.
Le varie tecniche vengono proposte tenendo conto delle diverse tipologie delle famiglie e della complessità del problema.
Spazio Neutro: descrizione dell’esperienza dell’IVTF diVerona
Situazione dei minori affidati in Veneto
Nell’ambito della protezione e tutela del minore, la legislazione from national laws: L 184/83, L 285/97 L149/01 until recently supported a path that recognizes the full right to live in the child's family, and provides its eventual removal only where they are all technically feasible possible actions to support the family dimension.
In 1997 in the Veneto Region was established Regional Centre for Children and Adolescents, which means the database Children with special cards on the following six months every child in foster care given to family homes or institutions.
In 2000 the family had children removed by 2204, equal to 1.8 per thousand of the child population.
33% was given in trust family structure 67%, 51% in group homes, 16% in an institution. Wind
Region 71.6% of the type of judicial custody were 28.4% and the type of agreement.
The majority of children living in institutions has been included for reasons family relationship (40%).
The fragility and the disintegration of the family of origin affect 54% of children in foster care: among the reasons predominate in the conduct of absolute abandonment and / or severe neglect, drug problems and serious economic problems.
Separations and divorces: ISTAT in 2000
separations and divorces in Italy gradually increased over the period 1995-2000, an increase of 37.5% of separations and 39% of divorces.
consensual separation is the type of separation most frequently chosen by the spouses.
average in 2000 ended in this way, 86.4% of cases, while the remaining 13.6% is rite with litigation.
21% of instances of separation comes from spouses who were married less than five years earlier.
In 2000 in northern families with children who have lived the experience of separation were 18,185, up 45.3%, and the divorce of 7405 amounted to 33.6%.
The percentage of children entrusted exclusively the mother is 84 .8% to 25,344, only 4.8% have been contracted on an exclusive to the father.
The number of credit lines to his father grows over contracts awarded to the mother, with the raising of children.
The frequency of access to children by the non-custodial parent is 1-3 times a month in 10.7% of cases, sometimes in 1 year, 4% of cases, never in 0.4%.
structural setting of the Neutral Area project in Verona
The statistics above have supported the need to create a neutral space in Verona, a city absolutely devoid of similar structure.
In most situations of separation and divorce in nearly all those relating to custody of children to others there is a difficulty for the child to meet grandparents and relatives of a family, if not both.
· It is a service for the exercise of rights of access;
· It is a place of encounter between children and their families;
· It is a place where children can resume their family and relations difficilicon exercise their right to maintain relations;
• To parents and adults is a place to resolve conflicts affrontaree the minimum necessary to allow the reconstruction of broken links (Marzotto and Dallanegra, 1998);
· It is neutral because it is not dinessuno property and it is suspended and neutralizes the discord (Cigoli 1998);
· It is a third place and not belonging to none of the contenders, which can help parents recognize the need and the child to see dirittodel respected his affections;
· Open the chance to rediscover their history, cuinon is only a custodian of the two warring parties;
· You qualified container outside the contentions of the parents, to learn how to safeguard the continuity of the parent-figlioin a time bounded (Mandelli-Dallanegra Marzotto in 1998);
· It is a place where you help parents to take separatoil marital conflict by the parent-child relationship (in Dolto Marzotto, Dallanegra, 1998).
space is structured so that they can accept:
• The child and its right "to maintain personal relationships direct contact with both parents" (Cigoli, 1998);
· The couples undergoing conflictual separation;
· The couples undergoing separation or divorce with difficulty adattuare the right to visit and / or violence with danger;
· The families with multiple,
· The decrees restricting families with of parental responsibility;
· Children with parents in prison or measures limitanola liberty;
· The foster families and individuazionedi of origin for the common meanings in the education of children;
· requests of the judiciary responsible for ' accertamentosulle possibilities / opportunities for continued relazionegenitoriale;
· requests for hearings of the judiciary protected.
For each subject that will appeal to the Neutral Space is a schematic type of service:
• The child may benefit from a place to meet / igenitori, family to restore vital links to its 'correct' crescitapsicofisica through the reconstruction of relations between generations. Taleluogo is a protected environment where they can be helped elaborareeventi families at high risk of pain and guilt.
· The parents can find support and to increase parental esprimerele their resources with the objective of maintaining and / or reconstruct rapportitra generations, and maintain the functions of the parental couple.
• The Court may use the Neutral Space for averevalutazioni on parenting skills, on the parent-child, extended family relationships, and physical space to fit audizioniprotette.
· The Public Service may, in turn, benefit from valutazionidelle parenting skills, assessments of the parent-child, and measures facilitating the recovery of the reports.
access to space can be neutral or degliavvocati personal request, or to statutory mandates.
general working mode
For each situation, the team of operators defines the meaning of demand and dell'inviante, identify requirements and outlines possible outcomes, including establishing a route criteria for monitoring and verification, the operator identifies most appropriate and reports to whom it may concern if the warrant is institutional.
The operator who takes office processes the program and identifies specific intervention strategies can be shared with users.
are considered as indicators of compliance with appointments and punctuality on the part of parents, the reduction of violent or disruptive behavior in relationship dynamics, and the reduction of the manifestations of illness of children.
Location and physical structure of the Neutral Space
The site is located in an area easily accessible and with parking. Nearby there are shops of different types: this situation is considered important for the possibility that parents may have to take the time to wait or hang out with the child, in accordance with the operator.
used professional equipment allows the recording of interventions and the presence of observers from outside through one-way mirror.
The room where the meetings take place of the parent with the child is equipped with structured games and non-functional interaction.
is also possible to use a bathroom equipped for changing and cleaning of small children.
It is also given the opportunity to prepare hot drinks and piccolecolazioni.
Considerations
When two essential truths collide, the possibility of transformation takes place only through the enhancement of the aspects of change that the conflict brings. In this vision Mediation can resume the dignity offended by the "insults" and end the violent expression of feelings.
The conflict is often interpreted as a situation that must be paid to anti-social or removed in silence: the role of mediation is to give voice to the words the conflict, and therefore the pain caused by feelings of anger, sadness, resentment, betrayal that accompany situations of rupture of relations.
The opportunity to "give voice" to the pain allows individuals to think that pain can be healed because he has been given the dignity of life (Morineau, 1998). Provide a space within which the pain of the parents can be put together with the pain of the children, and where third encourages the encounter of words, the act helps to repair the damage caused by violence. Within the Neutral Space
the "voice" to the suffering allows, as we have seen, to put a limit to violence. The "speak out" gives space to the word and aims to move from one state to another, allowing the comparison with the unjust and painful event and with it the possibility of a transformation.
The use of techniques derived from the Family Mediation System allows exceeding the greater risk that you can meet in a neutral space: one concerning the fact that 'the meeting between the parent and the child take place, but only so Specifically, without really taking place 'and without the operator being aware that it is not really happened (in Codignola Marzotto, Dallanegra, 1998).
does not appear simple. Means often fail to go beyond not only what others make us look but also what we would like to see.
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